A Night by the Hours

“How did it get so late so soon?” – Dr. Seuss

I suppose we discovered our immortality on that perfect night, when the darkness moved by the hours. The night it had no name for it was all nights, all times, and I called you “Sweet Darlin” …

We wind ourselves around the western view; to me it is one color, for you it is several hues. A difference of opinion on a falling sun that takes away our breath, as in the east a large moon has begun. Our spirits take position in a higher place, silent in communion no words can they say. For they border on a boundary, of clouds and grace, an absolution of spatial logic, a jump into ghost held space. I hold onto your tight bodice, my lips drawn back as if to taste.  My teeth a sharpened color, white snow like, chaste that would be debased. In an instant, we huddle closer as if some spell would tell us so, a last walk on the skyline watching the evening as it flows. For it’s a night not held in sorrow, or an evening in shallow touch, but a darkness filled with flying, where no one ever says too much.

We have come to know a pattern, when the gloom draws us here. To this path below the snow-caps of “Twin Sisters” crooked leer. You say, “One looks like she is laughing”, I say, “No dear, that is a sneer”, you say, “what if for an argument”, I say, “you are just so weird. But in that moment when we draw our eyes together hands held wide against the sky, the sun tilting backwards on its even, for the night on which it dies. With our sightseeing further, as we call out to the night, come and take our lives immortal, under over kingdoms rights. It is earth that in the daytime, what it holds cannot appetize, but the glory of the night sky is by that, our paradise. Unadorned by life’s expectations, we have no breath in which to sigh. Glory, glory in our indifference, bodies unwinding, our cathedral the sky.

We separate not when the shades of night taste us; their own light shadows pass us by. We laugh without laughing, and memorize each precious instant, the largest of mountains we have yet to climb. “What say you’re an artist, what say I’m the painted”, I brush my hand against her moon-touched thigh. “What say we are without replication”, she sighs her lips drawn as if to cry. This night of all has moved in time, by hours, rhythms, and numbers that rhyme. We are different as we turn to the east and make our way home to sleep before we would know why. Before we would know why.

I suppose we discovered our immortality on that perfect night, when the darkness moved by the hours. The night it had no name for it was all nights, all times, and I called you “Sweet Darlin” …

For Susan – 01.15.2020 – דָנִיֵּאל


The Harlot of Rotterdam (Nehalennia)

“Ocean of time, eternal law, to ashes, to dust, to ashes, but not just yet. To ashes, to dust, taken away from the light, but not just yet. Miracles wait until the end.” – Zu Asche zu Staub

The shrouded figures watch the gale move in from the vaulted ruins of the abbey. South by Southwest the dark clouds roll out across the hidden heavens casting hail, then wind. The cloaked figures appear to melt into the rock-filled shell of the abbey. From there whispers come unto whispers, sighs unto sighs. Sweet undertones summoning. Wet lips moving, bringing forth that which comes from the sea. That which comes forth from moving hips, from fecundity. She who is eternity from the sea. Bringing her home to Whitby.

“Nehalennia” the storm whispers. “Ashes” she murmurs in return. “To fall”, the wind cries. “Dust”, she replies. “The end”, the water sprays. “Eternity”, she is heard to say.

Some say how the tempests sigh. Exhale thee spirit against a Rotterdam sky. She says what a perfect night, to sail under his poison eye, to walk away and not say goodbye. In streets that pass her by, she moves much quicker than to fly. To reach the darker waters of foam and spray, no more man, a creature between her legs. Forgetting about how and when, she begged abstinence from the house of sin. To sail a dinghy into the host of spray, a single passage to where witches play. In stars well-hidden where eternity stays and taste the life, that’s time.

She sails in ashes on a shadowed sea, with deep dark seams that sometimes do not meet. In a cold, where there is no end, somewhere in truth to begin again. Sounds and pictures within, pieces of scripture, from her Opa’s thin voice. Simmering rejection from the church with no choice. She pictures astronomies in degrees, her gift to elevate and bring forth relief. To heal from thoughts within, the harlot of Rotterdam commands each wind. Each elevation a structure within. A stroke a brush with a hand she sends.

The gale the screaming din, the driftwood from the sea with its upside-down grin, to capture all time in a thimble within. Sixes and sixes in upside down triangular twins.  The force that never ends. The strength that forever begins.

She sails alone in cold English seas, a longing a hunger for more than believed. Beyond the nightlights of bars and skin, the mainland is dying from its rot within. To escape the poison, to really be free, to master cold waters toward a home, in Whitby.

Born forth by ash is she, not that of dust, she circles herself in eternity. Deeper than deep, the divers depths call “Nehalennia“, “sing to our dead souls in need.” “Cross yourself forward, the ashes and dust, calls from a time beneath.” “Ashes to dust, and dust to ashes indeed.” Ashes to dust, and dust to ashes, let all these waters recede.”

“Nehalennia” the storm whispers. “Ashes” she murmurs in return. “To fall”, the wind cries. “Dust”, she replies. “The end”, the water sprays. “Eternity”, she is heard to say. “Eternity”, she is heard to say. – 10-07-2019 – דָנִיֵּאל

Adeste Melancholia

Through the last year, I thought myself many things.  Often lost, too much a crazy prophet, and often broken, without a schematic in front of me on how to heal.  Somewhere around Christmas or perhaps a little bit afterwards, I took the time to just sit in one place still, and there in the most extraordinary way I found myself home. – דָּנִיֵּאל

The mirrors are placed upon each side, one so deep in the winter snow, tall dark firs, and a candle that glows. The other goes forward to what, who knows. The year ahead in a stranger’s clothes. But here in the silence of what is warm, Augustus Santa, and a Christ child, would you think stillborn.  So many shadows in lessons of things untried. Still here by this tree side, with lights and ribbons now untied. What is forward or back, I cannot decide. So many times, lost after Christmas, in winter tide, changing what used to be, reaching for the child inside. O come melancholia rest by myside, come down sweet angel so dark inside. So dark inside. The stillness where G_D does abide!

I have seen angels at Christmas time, they are like witches, and both can fly. They leave their charms by my bedside, and when I awake there’s snow outside. Still all this magic, in Yuletide, when it’s December, my mind is right. So, these reflections of one past night, an instant forward, and both are right. To be caught inside the light, of past and future sight, I cannot begin, to cry enough, to end what is held in. O come melancholia rest by myside, come down sweet angel so dark inside. So dark inside. The stillness where G_D does abide!

Adeste Melancholia is a dragon that eats your soul, it comes when you are not ready, and you feel so old. Your temples are not built, and your gospels just fold. Faith can’t treat the daemons of that Christmas so old. Still there’s something I will tell you if you want to be told, hiding in your winter snow. Deeper than any secret you can hold.

Time is a present not forward or past; it is built of instant treasure in the footing you possess. And when you cross the breech from Christmas to the brand new year, torn between Adeste Melancholia and the premise you think clear. Close your eyes an instant and join the note. Hear of a thousand languages of stillness that time bespoke. And to yourself make clear, one moment ever clear. Call down the heavens and say I AM here, this way, I AM here, always. I AM here!

O come melancholia rest by myside, come down sweet angel so dark inside. So dark inside. The stillness where G_D does abide! – 12.30.2017 – דָּנִיֵּאל

The Invictus 1896

“Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be, for my unconquerable soul”. – William Ernest Henley – Invictus

“At Christmas, all roads lead home”. – Marjorie Holmes

The specter came upon them that Christmas morn, dressed as the ancient, her eyes weary and worn. And it was when each looked to see, they saw only the reflection of themselves set free. And each favored lady took it to mind, what did it mean, to know the beginning of time. So, they all gathered where all ladies wait, in the main quarters of their mysterious estate. For something had happened, that they needed to know, what was their bloodline, and from where did it flow.

The needles of pine stopped falling precisely, the minute the clock in the great hallway rang one. The darkened hearth came too so suddenly, as if awakened by some ethereally song. The aroma of secrets of soft cloth and bedding, the richness of kisses, and spells done till dawn. The veil is closing, from those so blinded. For centuries, they thirsted, for now what is won. Come dresses of linen of silk, on rose skin scented, the candles are burning, so tapered so thin. The snowflakes fall, from windows in heaven. Tongues twist to catch them to mix with hot gin. The tale the sum, the time of investment, the thousand years must stretch to no end. Time is sewn into gowns and vestments. The Invictus has come and the coven is ready for the tale to spin.

“Gather this midnight; come near my mind”, whispers sweet Mina, she whispers in rhyme, “Come ladies of mine”.

I will tell you a story, with night as its start, a legend, a secret, held deep in my heart. A dream of a talon that scratched a skin bare, in December’s wonder, a woman so faire. She bled only one drop of blood in the snow, and from it rose daemons, in beauty they glowed. What came out of Streoneshalh, from that ancient day, the birth of a witch from an Abbess that strayed? Upon such ground so formed by the ice, came manners of beings that conjure by night. And here by a summons of that woman so faire, rose a loft manor, the rooms of our lair. Oh, dreamers dream dreams, sweet ladies you are melding, dancing in spirit, your hearts all aglow. I beg you by name; bring forth the “Invictus”, come winter spirit, and in Whitby unfold.

By term, they arise, to dance in the essence, of the forboden. Past particle present, of where they began. In twos and threes, they summon the abbess, spirit that is chambered immortal within. Amazing grace, the music is playing, the manor shakes so warm from within, the half-moon falls from its place in the heavens, sweet witches pleasured by familiars of sin.

Words with no sound they come from sweet Mina, with names and stories from what has been.

The half-moon strikes the ruins of the abbey; the snow on its arches highlights shadows from in. Deep underground lies an ocean of spirits, minus one abbess who has risen again. Across winter skies comes a dark dragon, a flying red leviathan from before time began. An icy gale moves throughout Lucy’s garden, breeching dead petals, and hedgerows thick limbs. Inside the manor the festive are dancing, the ball of the “Invictus” begins! Gather your hearts, and feast from this table, the call from dead fables spins round again. Each witch’s soul has been searched by an angel, that which is ever is planted within.

“It’s the beginning,” thinks Mina, as lights cross the sky. The embers reflected like sparks in her eyes. “The beginning of ever, beyond never end”!

A very happy holiday to all and a special kiss under the mistletoe for my Whitby Ladies, Lucy, Mina, Madison Poe, Elisheba, Resa, Carlotta and Evangeline, you have certainly made the year interesting. – 12.24.2017 – דָּנִיֵּאל

Red Barn (Cold Cold Heart)

Cold, cold heart!

On 14 just toward the bend in the road, toward the prairie grassland, where wild banshee’s roam.  On 14 there where there is an old farm, guards the opening of Sheol, stands the old red barn.  So I stand here alone, and I feel the hot wind, of a thousand voices, of a thousand sins.  I think some are within, and they sing all the same, if they be in or out, they say don’t you please want to stay.

And I wonder to myself, as my spine turns into chills, would the moon upon this night turn my fate into a kill?  Would my soul go deep inside, where it might be never found, would my actions be a coward, could my future be never still.

Cold, cold heart!

I suppose the red barn once upon a time held hay, or just a horse or two, before the devil came to play, and made the barn pay its due.  It could be just inside near the hooks, where the sheep would lay, there was an unease about the future of darkened days.  And standing in this sun, and standing still I do, I can’t but help but think, what it is about this red barn that made a mad man do what insane men do.

For Sharpe he was a wise man, who started on that day, with his face as red, as a dying star, to do his wife and friend away.  And he ran his Ford from Ault, with two hooks in the back, and he drove on down 14, to take his missus back.  For Sharpe he was desirous to have what was lacked, to bring the spirit of divorce to bring it to a fact.

Cold, cold heart!

In his eyes he saw a red barn, as magenta as his face, and inside of that old red wood, lay his wife upon her back.  And Sharpe he pictured murder, oh he pictured his friend’s back, moving up and down upon his dear wife, in their passion they did not lack.

So I stood upon the highway with the sun burning red, and it showed the paint was peeling from the red barn where Sharpe attacked.  And it seemed I heard the screams now, as the hooks came raining fire, or it could be banshees laughing, as they brought the dead on back.  And I thought about my thinking, of waiting on the moon, to see what would happen, or think what if it could.  And I moved myself transfixed then, not determined in anyway, and thought maybe it better to wait another day.  So I drove on to the highway and I headed my way home, and I passed an oncoming Ford pickup truck, with a man looking onward.  His face was red, and his eyes were rolled on back.

Cold, cold heart!

Eddie Sharpe murdered his wife Edith and best friend Drew, in a red barn that sits off of Highway 14 near the Pawnee National Grasslands on Monday, August 8, 1960.  The barn is said to be haunted, and it certainly appears that way to me. – 08.08.2016 – דָּנִיֵּאל

Dante’s Ruse (Baby Blue)

At seven you approached me familiar of the light, baby blue, falling incandescent light, the alfalfa in that field by Nenahnezad, so purple, it became blue, my flame of spirit, possessed by wild winds beautiful, that took my soul. Light as a child, I become interweaved with you, forever in your breath I’m cured by inner sight. Grandma Blackhorse she told me, near Shiprock she told me, while other children played in her sight…. “Look at what you see, say what you trust, nothing about you is new, and yesterday, you came to light, do you remember, baby white boy, born your mind so blue”. “Everything from here on out is not you, it’s what controls you, yes, yes it becomes what you do”.

At sixteen I reached a place I thought I should not go, light near Durango, driving deep into the night, and I forgot where I was going, near midnight I couldn’t remember my very name. Outside of Hesperus, things become overwhelming, in your baby blue, and then ghost came into my sight. Then light came, like a cure, something like skin, that nothing, and nobody should touch, my baby blue. And what I can remember, is something is worth having, something that I’ll never touch, esoterically illusional true. Better than reality, sometimes fiction you can’t touch, can make you cry. Better than reality on that Colorado highway, neurological daemon, from my little boy clues. From my little boy clues.

Dante he comes, sometimes he knows, that every word, from his flimsy touch, is a rhetorical verb, that is light. “It’s light,” he says, he grins against the blue ray, that sprinkles gloom and glitter against the dark Fort Collins sky. He says, “Are you ready, to write, baby blue, I possess you, can we get high”? I think it’s a ruse, but I remember, when I was new. Before I was seven, without you, baby blue. And so I deliver, and these lines, these words that are you, bring me something I’ll never touch. No I’ll never touch.

At seven you approached me! – 07.15.2016 – דָּנִיֵּאל

Another one for my damn muse!

The Picnic (Gaither 1909)

“Everything begins and ends at exactly the right place” – Joan Lindsay, Picnic at Hanging Rock

Oh the hills could they sing, bring the gathering to a ring, for the food that families eat is a sacrifice to where history sleeps.

“The full moon has just left us”, said Mr. Dalton with a sigh, his eyes searching for spirits as they ran increasingly by. It’s the fourth of June in 1909, in a circle near Gaither with the Ozarks marking time, the spell for memory is nigh. It was what begins a family or a friend, a neighbor wanting closure on a funeral that’s just been, a picnic in the meadow, near a grave or two or ten, and the woods of twilight’s future watches all over them. It’s the Dalton’s, with the chicken, and the Miller’s with the pies, someone whispered lightning’s there in Crooked Creek, by where little Ably Watkins drowned and died, like Lazarus he just went to sleep.  He won’t wake up and we don’t know why.

Daisy said, “the picnic brings us one under sky, the Fullerton’s a yonder I haven’t seen them, in week’s gone by.  And all of us together at Gaither, how time does fly”. All the woods around them whispering legends of epochs and by gone lies.  And the children run together, two by two they look for lore, until Ethel calls them forward unto lunch on the grass floor. And each ear she does whisper, “play and feel your own sweet worth, but keep wares that you see each others face where spirits might lurk”. “And you should not go where your unawares, for keepers will stay you there”.

Now it could be that no one looks to notice what is there, in the shady trees of Gaither round the mountain a specters lair, for it comes from layers deep, bringing questions when it speaks. Be it witches or be it spells, from the time that legends dwell. Oh the hills could they sing, bring the gathering to a ring, for the food that families eat, is a sacrifice to where history sleeps.

“The sun is setting soon”, said Joe Sylvie to his sister Zella, where she stood, “and I think I do declare, this days ending without a dare”. And they laugh and turn away, for they know they cannot say, what is family, what is faith, in the history of this place. For what begins and ends in rest, all around the circle crest, hats and bonnets, beards and bows, an eternal spirit glows. And the picture shows it best, fading faces all are blessed, at Gaither, where in coven, the families make the right place a nest.

Oh the hills could they sing, bring the gathering to a ring, for the food that families eat is a sacrifice to where history sleeps. – 04.28.2016 – דָּנִיֵּאל

The House (Specters)

Trust is a whisper from the moonlit house near me, there so close to the mesa near the tree, there by the stars of the Navajo sky, there when I was eight did I watch shadows move by. Nenahnezad a long incline backwards whirling dervish sounds that formed my mind, daemons, my friends said, those figures from the den of time. Boy she whispers my throat so dry, here I am, in the sweet by and by, bring your sneakers, come here, life is nearby.

By moon a statue, that looks like me, by ever longing, lost in a sea. A silent world of wind and keys, numbers swirling by night so free, a small boy I stand, I stand by the tree, and look possessed in sweet conjunction harmony. Of all the high ground around me, just the house, asking me, to enter free, a white boy on the Rez you see. Pass young one without hesitation, do not hide, bring your empty spirit, take the glimmer filled ride. A ray of full moonlight comes and goes, I sit out by the cottonwood and watch orbs flow, it’s daring I would say, that one could reach my heart, and take me far away.

The house it travels to my many dreams, it follows me to this very day, under moonlight while the presence does play. There upon the bluffs so high, where my childhood played and was so shy. Near the back of that old school, in sandstone, alone where specters rule, skin walkers of the other side, a small boy standing just outside. That old house at night near the reservation school, Nenahnezad, myself fulfilled. To stand upon sand so cold, by there that cotton tree, the moon to blackness come over me. To watch and feel an invitation pass, at eight years old, it touched my flesh. To know it’s there to see it real, the house it waits there now, after all these years it waits for me still.

Trust is a whisper from the moonlit house near me, there so close to the mesa near the tree, there by the stars of the Navajo sky, there when I was eight did I watch shadows move by.

This is a true story. When I was eight years old, wandering around the BIA compound at Nenahnezad, New Mexico by myself, there was an old house, made of stone, empty, but filled with something still. On my travels at night, I would watch it, orbs moving from room to room, beckoning, calling. It still calls me to this day it calls me. The picture above is that house. May be you too will see it now, for I think it waits for all of us, someday. Some enter before others, some wait afraid to enter in. It is our childhood, that circles, and the specters inside would have us enter in. – 02.21.2016 – דָּנִיֵּאל

Judges & Companions

For there are companions, and they come in the valley of tears, they come with hands raised, and they will not be judged!

Judges never have danced under the moon, no sir, they never have danced under the moon.

Judges all around you everywhere you go, morphed into your spirit, they tell you where you should go. Everywhere since worlds began, there’s been hypocrisy, some little law based on criminality. Politics in places, spurn they the mystery, of all that is in your heart, know they not when you breathe. Did you know that scares them, when you look unto the moon, frightens them like Socrates, frightened that, which never blooms. Like those three men of old, Meletus, Anytus and Lycon, they could not see, those shiny companions that loved philosophy!!! Judges never have danced under the moon, no sir, they never have danced under the moon.

Companions walk beside you, never far from where you’ve come. Never leading onward, or following what you have yet become. Is it not a miracle, you have so much to give, look unto the right of you, angels, wink and follow your eyelid, as it see’s, carefully, your companion, touches you, and gives. Everything from all you are, paths of horror, trails of stars, life that goes from beginning unto the end, even in your sin, companions live, forever with you, never judging, always loving, who you are.

And you follow them in love, they follow you too, your deepest darkest secrets, become companions too, and someday soon they’ll bring you home, turn around, and you’ll no longer roam, for G_D will love you, and you’ll understand….

The companion is all you ever waited for, the deep dark mystery, that, your shadows for, it’s you, oh my friend, it’s always been you.

Judges and companions, the world has always been, those who change your raiment, and those who choose within. For I would not have judges be, ruling over me, for there is only one who my name always see’s. For I am not an angel bought to live by rule of men, I choose my companions by the G-D who lives within. For stars they light a pathway, to those, who choose for want, to be a companion, to never judge their want. I will not allow a judge to rule over me, for G-D is my companion, we choose what I will ever be, and then my will, it walks forever, by my side, a great companion, from the other side. A great companion from the other side.

Judges never have danced under the moon, no sir, they never have danced under the moon. – 11.18.2015 –  דָּנִיֵּאל (Daniyyel) meaning “G_d is my judge”!

The Burning of Falcon Castle

The searing and screaming, the crows in the fire, the falcon higher, the ghost below in her aching desire. Gloria light, below as above, that which burns, cleanses senses, raptures love.

Gather you children a story at hand, a meaning in meaning from times that still stand, a place you can visit and now know more truth, a mountain castle the industrialist hood. Storm upon darkness, light after light, his second wife dead, and her bones turning white, just like the snow falling while there was still light. She lays at the foot of the mountain you see, dead but not dying from 1916. A high air in Morrison, Red Rocks below, yes Ethel played there her violin and bow, and Johnny Walker the Cosmopolitan king, laughs and he laughs, its part of his grief. Yes Ethel’s still playing so long after death, the castle above her, the train just ignores her, and she’s getting mad. Gather you weak souls, that believe good and bad, the witching of Falcon, will make you go mad, why yes Johnny Walker has done so much good, he’s created a steamer, and a college for hoods. Yes those Jesuits, they sing his good song, at Christmas in the castle, Maria till dawn. Oh poor, sweet, dang Ethel, she’s gone and so missed, but above here in Falcon, she’s hardly missed.

The library empty, the music room of stone, the strange twisting turret, Baphomet’s dong. So stars there still hanging twisted and black, and all through the year, a voice how it hums, a string of a difference, a voice where there’s none. It could be the answer for why nothings clear, a fog on the mountain, with Ethel’s stare near. While John Brisben Walker still strides to and fro, his eyes upon Denver, down there far below. Oh woman sweet woman, who played your sweet song, this castles now lonely, these ghost grow so long. The princes and warlocks, deceivers of men, they take up my mind, my heart it can’t mend. Oh Ethel sweet darling, maybe what I should do, is find me a starling, instead of a shrew. Devils and pines that surround this old life, while industry is waiting with me and a young wife.

Gather and summon you winds in July, in 1918, let the curse draw the sky. While Johnny Walker looks far to the East, and gathers the dimes from schools far and wide, to build there a White House, right next to his castles side. Why there, just below the changes are clear, down near the storm front, sweet Ethel comes clear, and rips all her clothing, from dust of the womb, and points her strange bow at the tide of the ruin. While John Brisben Walker walks in the storm, the lightning from heaven cleanses the strange castles form.

The searing and screaming, the crows in the fire, the falcon higher, the ghost below in her aching desire. Gloria light, below as above, that which burns, cleanses senses, raptures love.

Gather your mind, while it is still time, and hike there a mountain, go back in its time, and while the path covers a story so wild. Know in your mind a secret is lied. Know Falcon Castle burned in a storm, while so far below it, so far below it, Ethel lured a strange form. – 06.08.2015 – דָּנִיֵּאל

Once in a while you meet someone, very old, that tells you a strange story, a strange story indeed, when it is not Halloween! For the safer story of John Brisben Walker, and Falcon Castle, you can visit the following links.