For the Lack of a Map (Roads)


Artist Samy Charmine – Almost Time

“New roads, new ruts.” – Gilbert K. Chesterton

For the lack of a map, I took roads, some with steep inclines, most ended with no right of way, leaving me lost beyond timberline.

So many roads into Denver, so many anecdotes without fact. So many dreams left along the front range, gasping. They are a memorial, a delusion, inside, that’s not fact. Treasures at altitude, a once upon a time, a “Rock of Westies“, a vision above Nederland, a realization that 1975 is never, ever coming back. And maybe that’s a good thing, a very good, good thing. I think I can dig it now, “Portishead” driving me on this road, Beth Gibbons taking the wheel, right out of my hand away. Strange when I stare into my rearview mirror, I still see the mountains, shimmering above Boulder, some angel somewhere, whispers, “find”. Just another road, here, made up inside me. And I feel it takes me where I need to go. I know it takes me where I need to go.

So many roads into ageing, so many stories that still are to unwind. So many numbers numbing my mind, the physics of heaven, still these many, many ghosts aren’t changing any time. Driving, diamonds dancing on this road, in the summertime. High table, that’s still glowing now “Rocky Flats“, in nuclear time. That which is buried, still stays on my mind. And whispers, low tones, syllables that barely rhyme, still they encourage on this road, “seek and you will find”. “Seek and you will find”. On the road now, that which is with me, never that which is left behind. Going further then I need be, watching mountains left behind. And I wonder, as I wander, what it is that I will “find’, what it means to really unbind.

So few roads out of Denver, so many anecdotes without fact. The sun never sets above the “Mummy” Range, the snow never melts and that’s just a part of my mystical Colorado, that’s a part of these roads. A paradoxical fact. I suppose this might seem like nonsense, an ageing man rambling who has lost his tact. But there is something here, something shimmering on these worn roads, something well beyond 1975. For the lack of a map I free wheel, for the lack of knowledge I try. There might be a road that is headed for what I have to “Find”.

For the lack of a map, I took roads, some with steep inclines, most ended with no right of way, leaving me lost beyond timberline. – 08.11.2019- דָנִיֵּאל

87 thoughts on “For the Lack of a Map (Roads)

  1. Daniel, it seems that both you and I have been on a road theme lately. No doubt a stage in life that is worth reflecting on for both of us. Your post really hit home for me, as most of your work does. I am thinking and putting old things away, and looking for that next road. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “So many roads into ageing, so many stories that still are to unwind. So many numbers numbing my mind, the physics of heaven, still these many, many ghosts aren’t changing any time. ” great phrase, and my favorite. I am in these words with you 100%. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Very good piece of writing my young friend. It is interesting how many roads go into life and how few come out. That to me was one of the most astute gatherings I received from this writing. Bill

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Daniel this was fantastic. Life throws us many roads and detours, a map would be helpful. BTW “Rock of Westies” was one of my favorite Elton John albums. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I too identified with your writing. The melancholy prose struck me as sad at first but then I realized you were moving on to a new roadway. Something we all must do.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Loved all of this, especially the line on “Rock of Westies” and Nederland. Having grew up in Colorado, I was very familiar with Caribou.. Saying goodbye to some things is never easy. Saying hello to new roads can be very exciting. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Daniel I enjoyed “Roads” very much and like many others identified with many sections of the piece. My favorite line was “The sun never sets above the “Mummy” Range, the snow never melts and that’s just a part of my mystical Colorado, that’s a part of these roads. A paradoxical fact.” What a paradox indeed. 😉 Shalom

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Colorado… my destination when everyone else was going to California…..
    my grandfather always said I was a Gypsy , I would set out on any road and wander, I usually ended up in Colorado 🙂 so many memories of being young and running away? or running to ?Boulder… and the mountains…. I will go back one day to figure out why I left in the first place of the place that called me in dreams

    I was stationed at Ft Carson many moons ago, I think I spent more time on backroads wandering…

    thanks for reminding what once was open for me 🙂 love your thoughts.. and I like the song 🙂

    Take care.. You matter

    Blessings
    mary

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you Mary for sharing a bit of your wonderful history with Colorado. I was not born here but my Dad and his dad and so on were. My Pappy farmed the front range from Boulder to Fort Collins. It is home, and Boulder carry’s a very mystical special place in my heart as well. Thank you as always for your wonderful comments. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      • You’re very welcome,
        your stories weave a wonderful mystical place for us to wander through and feel as if we found a new place to visit and become part of, even if for a little while
        Ft Collins was where I thought about settling down after I got out of the Army. who knows maybe one day I might make it there,
        Boulder is a mystical place that calls the heart 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

  9. Where to start? Well, with the fact I started this reply five minutes ago and then that song and that beautiful voice held me captive. It says everything about your exquisite share of so very much. ‘For the lack of a map I free wheel, for the lack of knowledge I try. There might be a road that is headed for what I have to “Find”.’ Yep. breath taking I think is the word I am looking for.

    Liked by 2 people

      • Oh we get lost everywhere the MR . and me. Part of that mind you is he gets so impatient if the turning that is meant to come up in tem minutes does NOT come up in five. Then he takes some other turning. SO yeah, then we are well lost. Mind you hills are my speciality.
        SO I say nothing. Mind you they do say that in Glencoe you can make any set of instructions fit any hill and that is very very true given the wrong ones we have done.

        Liked by 2 people

      • When we went to Arisaig there a wee while back he got like that and then muggins here ended up driving on some awful road and to compound it all he then went and kept saying ‘oh this is a much better road to Glencoe’ — which we were also going to be going to –maybe we should consider this one for the future. Well… There was the time that there was a car accident a few hundred yards from us going to Glencoe, with roughly an hour left to drive one time and the road was blocked. Could he sit there nicely like everyone else or maybe just head back down to Killin to while away an hour or so. NO. Her had to go round by Lch Lomond which only took us five hours–to rejoin that road that at few miles we had been a hundred yards from earlier.

        Liked by 3 people

      • I like this, actually like the sound of the Mr. Sounds like me. My Mrs says so too. Never a patience to wait on getting directions anywhere. I already know the way in my heart not my head so we get to see a bit of the countryside wherever we go. We are late to many an occasion. 😉

        Liked by 3 people

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