Chasing Light (1981)

/ Daniel Swearingen

I think I will chase light forever, for it was whispered to me once upon a time that it is “All We Are”!

Cecil and I sat there, the air floating by, in those days we termed it a dry special night spring.  The crosses white and crooked glowing ethereal, like turnstiles to another world of kings.  The moon came down and left a ring, and somewhere near the San Juan Mission Cemetery A desert Poorwill began to sing.  “You “chasing light”, he asked, his Navy blue, setting off an odor that smelled like a mixture of a Navajo sweat bath, or maybe the south sea.  “Yea” I say, just talking to the past, that only my soul can see.  The bluffs above us throw sacred shadows, and nearby the Animas meets the San Juan in a muddy reverie.  And just below the lights of Farmington, lean forward, throwing stars that disappear before they reach the cemetery.

Cecil scoots forward, the headstone becoming a poor thin seat, “You chasing light”?   His eyes are a cobalt fire.  This time it’s more a question, than a statement about my spirituality.  “I won’t be back”, I whisper. “Not until your grey”, says he, then smiles.  “Very dramatic”, he whispers, pushing his lips like a Navajo at me, knowing being dead, has more insight than what my brown mortal eyes can ever see.

“What’s chasing light”, I ask, without expecting a reply.  I’ve been here before with Cecil, six crosses in, with my pagan faith by the Bisti Highway.  His questions are the answers, his statements the questions, a conversation behind the veil of life, with a skinny white boy.  It’s a woven discussion between my life, and that which is still.  Not even those other ghost by crosses three, two and five, dare to intercede

It’s sudden, while the dawn’s nearby.  The bluffs leaning in to watch a flicker as a verb say goodbye, and Cecil speaks a phrase, the last to me he’ll ever say, “chasing light, it’s all we are”!  “BOY, are you chasing light”?  It’s sudden, his tattered purple ribbon disappearing, over his star of bronze.  The desert smells like the Pacific, the crooked crosses all around me look like life from another day.  I turn to see Cecil fading away, forever.

I think I will chase light forever, for it was whispered to me once upon a time that it is “All We Are”!

PFC Cecil Hoskey was killed in action on April 2, 1945 during the battle to secure the bridges on the Island of Negros.  He is buried at the San Juan Mission Cemetery.  Sometimes I still see him in my dreams, when I’m “Chasing Light”! – 09.20.2016 –  דָּנִיֵּאל

 

 

 

 

42 thoughts on “Chasing Light (1981)”

  3. I felt as if I was there. Your memories are so vivid, and filled with thoughts from the otherside. All I can ever hope for is that you keep writing. 🙂

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  16. Daniel, a lovely tribute to PFC Cecil Hoskey. I enjoy your writing tremendously, always beautiful and ethereal. This is a most memorable and lovely line, ” “chasing light, it’s all we are”. Thank you, please enjoy the day. ~ Mia

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  17. Another fantastic tribute! You are so well versed at these, Daniel. 😀
    I’m surprised that anyone covers Kim Mitchel, but it’s nice to hear it, and know that.
    I listen to his radio show off and on.

    Liked by 1 person

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